Faith Vs Fear: You Decide

My name is Ethan Mwangi from Rwanda and Kenya. To clarify, I am Kenyan by blood and

birth, and I just reside in Rwanda. Despite not having any formal identification to prove I am

Rwandan at all, it is where I have grown into the person I am today, and without it, I would

not be who I am. But it was never like that.

When I first moved to Rwanda, I struggled. My first term was honestly one of the hardest

periods of my life. No one gives you a manual on how to make friends in a new place. So I

did what felt easiest. I stayed in class during lunch and break, watching YouTube on my

Chromebook while everyone else was outside.

Despite seeming like paradise to introverts, the contrast was painful. I had come from a

place where everything made sense. I had a strong social circle. I was doing well

academically. I was known as one of the best swimmers in my school. I was comfortable. I

was confident. I was happy.

Then suddenly, all of that disappeared.

In Rwanda, I went from a space where I was a tutor to requiring a tutor. My grades were less

than average, and that was never the standard I had for myself. Socially, I felt invisible. For

someone who had always been surrounded by people, that isolation hit hard. It felt like I had

lost a version of myself that I did not know how to rebuild. To accentuate it

Halfway through the term, I reached my breaking point. I told my mum that I wanted to go

home. I wanted to go back to what was familiar, what was easy, what was safe.

But instead of agreeing, she told me something that completely shifted my perspective. She

said, and I quote,

“There are two aspects in life: faith and fear. Both of them believe in

something you cannot see. It just depends on which one you choose.

”

I’ll say it again for the people at the back,

“There are two aspects in life: faith and fear. Both

of them believe in something you cannot see. It just depends on which one you choose.

”

At the time, I did not fully buy into it. It really sounded like one of those things adults say that

is supposed to magically fix everything. But I had nothing else to hold onto, so I decided to

try. Reluctantly, I chose faith. I chose to believe that things would work out, even when there

was no evidence that they would.

And slowly, things began to change.

I put myself out there again. I went back into swimming, something that had always

grounded me. Over time, that turned into something bigger than I expected. I became the

swimming captain. I found a group of friends who are still some of the closest people in my

life today. My grades improved, not overnight, but consistently, until I was back at a standard

I was proud of.

Nothing changed instantly. But everything changed because I made one decision. I chose

faith over fear.Fear would have told me to leave. Fear would have kept me in that classroom, isolated, watching life happen through a screen. Fear focuses on the what if things go wrong?.

But faith asks a different question. What if things go right?

And that question changed everything for me.

Despite how it may seem like a simple story, it served as a catalyst to how I experience life

today. That quote alone gives me more than enough courage to keep pushing myself. It

made me understand that discomfort is temporary, and more importantly, it only exists

because I have experienced comfort before. You cannot feel out of place unless you have

known what it feels like to belong. So even in spaces where I am forced out of my comfort

zone or thrown out of it, like at ALA, I carry that same quote with me. It reminds me that

discomfort is not something to run from but something to grow through.

As the Yetus leave with T minus 66 days (I wish I said this yesterday), and as we Yewans

step into becoming the next Yetus, we are all going to be put into spaces that feel

uncomfortable. Spaces where we doubt ourselves, where we question if we belong, where it

would be easier to walk away.

In those moments, you have a choice.

You can choose fear and stay where it is safe but small. Or you can choose faith and step into something uncertain but full of possibility. Both require you to believe in something you cannot see. So the real question is, what are you choosing to believe?

My name is Ethan Mwangi, from Rwanda and Kenya, and this is my story.